Ferocious Flirting: Making Marriage Wonderful

http://www.dineforamerica.org/ On October 5, 2005, restaurants across the country will band together in a "Dine for America" day, a national fundraising effort for the American Red Cross to help the survivors, victims, their families and other arising needs from the Hurricane Katrina and Rita disasters. Maybe take your sweetie out for dinner.  The website provides a list of participating restautants by state and city.  For example, the local Chili's is donating 100% of their profits today.

Recently, we were watching an episode of a show we like to watch together called Numb3rs. Its a television series about a math genius who helps his FBI brother solve tough cases by using math. I know, sounds boring, but it really is a fun show, really. During this last episode, the math genius finally worked up the nerve to ask out the girl he likes. They spent the first part of the date discuss mathematics but decide to talk about something else instead. At this point the conversation dries up because the have nothing else in common. The date ends up bombing due to a lack of anything to say to each other. Later he asks what he could have done differently. I was tempted to shout the answer at the TV. However, through years of experience, I have determined that the characters in television shows rarely listen, no matter how loud I yell. Instead, I'll quietly post my thoughts here. Dating is as important in marriage as it is in courtship. What to do on a date is very impor

"Total unselfishness is sure to accomplish another factor in successful marriage. If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions. Many couples permit their  marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence."      -  Spencer W. Kimball There is a profound paradox to be found in a successful marriage.  Rather to focus on what I need, I need to focus on the needs of my sweetheart.  Only by focusing on the needs of my eternal companion can my needs truly be met.  

I took a couple of the kids to the zoo the other day. As I think I mentioned before, we have a family pass to the local zoo. We end up at the zoo quite often and spend just a couple of hours there. The last time we went, they were having an "enrichment" day for the animals. What that meant is that there was something different for the animals. The idea was to stimulate the animals both physically and mentally. The little Golden Lion Tamarins had food hidden in paper bags. Other monkeys had new things to climb on or play with. The penguins had their fish thrown into the water and they had to go swim and get it. They didn't seem to catch on very well, at least at first. As part of this animal enrichment, there were various activities for the kids and signs with explanation of the various enrichment activities. One of these signs caught my attention. It was a sign answering the question of why they don't give the animals the toys, puzzles and other things everyday. The a

Has this ever happened to you?  You feel particularly grateful to your sweetie and what to do something extra special to show how much you appreciate your sweetheart.   You think up something, but of course you don't have that around the house.  Then you run to the store only to find that they don't have what you are looking for.  You end up spending a lot of time and not being able to do what you wanted to do anyway.  So now, instead of feeling grateful, you're feeling frustrated.  What you need is a "spontaneity kit".  This kit is a collection of simple things that will allow you to do something special for your sweetie on a moment's notice.  My kit includes:    * "I Love You" stickers.  These are little round stickers in lots of colors    * Candles - both scented and otherwise    * CDs with romantic music    * DVDs we both appreciate    * Heart shaped box - think the box that Valentines chocolates come in    * Index cards with various roma

The most important task most of us will ever perform is that of mother or father.  As a society, we understand better than ever to social implications if either father or mother is missing from the home.  Yet, that same society diminishes the importance of parenthood, making it seem secondary to other pursuits such as career or "personal fulfillment".  On top of that, being a parent is often a thankless duty.  Children are notoriously ungrateful. At least until they leave home and really realize what their parents both did and sacrificed on their behalf. Yet most of us wouldn't trade parenthood for anything.  We love our children and the joy they bring into our lives.  The sacrifices are made without even thinking, just because our kids need something.  For example, now that school has started again almost all my free time is dedicated to helping my kids with homework.  I am now spending lots more time on homework than I ever spent while going to school.  Silly me, I th

Shakespeare, speaking in Henry the Fifth, said, 'God, the best maker of all marriages, combine your hearts in one.' (Henry V,5:2.) Be unified in all you do.  This does not mean to do everything together, but truly and wholehearted support each other in all that you do.    

I have started adding to my other blog, http://m0smith.freeshell.org/ , some real ways to help those who are suffering as a result of Hurricane Katrina.  The focus of my posting is on those who have been moved to Camp Williams in Utah.  However, the links and postings also have national help information.  Do something for someone with your sweetie.  The love you expeience when you serve other people together is tremendous.  People need your help and you  and your sweetheart can serve those people together.  There really is something you can do. Thanks.

The other day I talked about needing to do the simple courtesies liking holding doors opens.  Yesterday I surprised my sweetie by actually going around and opening the door of the car for her to get in.  We were visiting her sister's and were leaving.  The rest of the family was in the vehicle and my sweetheart had stopped on the porch to say good-bye.  As my sweetie started to walk toward the car I realized it was a great opportunity to she her a simple courtesy.  So I jump out of the car, and walked over toward her door.  My sweetie asked "What's the matter"?  I said nothing, just smiled an opened the door for her.  My sweetheart just beamed.  I learned a couple of things.  First, its been a lot longer than I thought since I had shown my sweetheart that simple courtesy.  I was a bit surprised when she thought something was wrong, but it has been a while since I opened the door for her. Second, a small amount of extra effort goes a long way.  It is the small an

From the Declaration on the Family: Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities