Friday, September 13, 2013

Ban on Technology in the Bedroom

The Need for Protecting Your iPad

Daniel Craig is quoted over at The Telegraph as saying
"There’s nothing technological allowed in the bedroom.  ... Fighting against technological devices taking over one’s life “is a good fight to have, as far as I’m concerned,”
A good, strong, happy marriage is all about communication.  Ironically, the very devices we use for communication with people all around the world are at the same time roadblocks to face to face communication.  Really listening requires giving full attention to the conversation.  It is difficult to have a meaningful conversation fighting the headphones or video display.  Go beyond just talking it is vital to hear not just what is being said but how it is being said; the subtle inflection of the voice and the ever important body language are easy to miss with distractions. 

For many couples the bedroom is where they have the privacy and the time to have the important conversations.  Make the bedroom a refuge from distractions so the two of you can make the bedroom a place of unity and harmony.  Let it be your sanctuary.  

How do you keep technology from being a distraction?


Thursday, July 04, 2013

Video: Keeping romance alive

Sometimes even the most passionate relationships can feel like they're losing heat, but with just a little bit of rekindling, you'll have those flames burnin' once again. Learn simple ways you can add more romance to your marriage.  Watch the Video.

Monday, June 24, 2013

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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

10 Ways to Survive (and Thrive) in a Difficult Marriage | All Pro Dad

I like the All Pro Dad and they often have good advice and not just for dads. In the most recent article, 10 Ways to Survive (and Thrive) in a Difficult Marriage | All Pro Dad, they discuss how to survive in a difficult marriage. As usual, the advice is good and sound. However, I thought to add another thought. Most of the ten items correctly advise to not try and change the spouse, but to change ourselves. In addition, it is have the important conversations.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Weeding

Weeding makes me philosophical.  Maybe it is that so many parables are have their root in working the land.  Maybe it is the undistracted quiet or maybe there is just something deeper about getting my hands dirty. 

I have a flower bed that has a lot of grass in it that I have to keep pulling out.  Early in the spring I can attack the grass with gusto.  As the flowers grow in I have to be more careful and take more time in order to pull the grass without harming the flower plants.  If I fail to weed at first, the rest of the summer becomes much harder.

Weeding is like removing those little problems that happen during a marriage.  First, if you take care of them early on before they can really get a root, they are much easier to address.  Second, leaving them to grow often leads to more problems that are harder to extract.

What are the weeds in a marriage?  The might be the little disagreements that grow into fuming arguments.  Another might be a hurt feeling that festers into a grudge.  Ignoring important decisions can lead to problems with finances.  As with weeds, each of these issues are much more easily resolved if addressed sooner rather than later.

Take a look at your garden and see if there might be a couple of weeds you can pull to make it look better and be stronger.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

How do you flirt with your spouse?

As a reader of this blog, you will know that we are all about flirting with each other as a way to keep life interesting.  Well, over at about.com there is a reader poll: How Do You Flirt With Your Spouse? which is worth a look.  You can comment here or there, but please share.

Some other ideas:
Love on a Postcard
Keep in Touch
Welcome Home

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Monopoly

The other day my wife and I decided to play Monopoly which is something we have not done in a long time.  It is of those games we used to play as kids, especially on New Year's Eve when you have a long time to kill.  The game started out fun as we enjoyed spending the time together in some friendly competition.  Then as the game wore on, it became less fun.  Eventually, it became obvious that I was going to win but that it was still going to be some time.  Soon the inevitability of the outcome overcame the funness and we called the game.

Monopoly is a competitive game in which all the players try to win by beating the other players.  Those sorts of games are very fun and are very common.  However, there is a different sort of game available, a cooperative game.  In these games, all the players work together to reach a common goal.  Some examples of cooperative games include Castle Panic and Forbidden Island which is one of our favorites.

In Forbidden Island, the players work together to reach a common goal.  From description:
 In this game, teamwork proves essential to locate the Earth Stone, the Statue of the Wind, the Crystal of Fire, and the Ocean's Chalice as the Island floods beneath your feet. Adventure... if you dare!
The point of the game is to capture 4 relics and safely escape the island.  Each turn, part of he island gets flooded making it increasingly difficult to survive and win.  The players all work together to capture the relics, keep the island from flooding and helping one another.  Also, since the game is cooperative, discussing strategy and tactics together is not only encouraged but required to win the game.

One thing I like about the game is it emphasizes working together rather than against each other.  In that way it is a nice metaphor for how a marriage can work.  A couple working together to reach a common goal.  

It is also a game the whole family can enjoy.  Since the game is all about working together, there is no problem helping a younger player knowing where to move it which cards to flip.

If you have never tried a cooperative game, give Forbidden Island a try.

Related:
Wil Wheaton playing Forbidden Island
Wil Wheaton plays Castle Panic

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Being supportive

In an article Be a Supportive Spouse there is a list of ways to show support for your spouse including:
  • Respect your spouse's personal decisions.
  • Don't be threatened by your spouse's accomplishments. Tell people, especially your partner, how proud you are of his/her talents and skills.
 There are a lot of other ideas on being supportive of each other.  Having someone to celebrate with is just as important as having a shoulder to cry on.  

Friday, April 26, 2013

I do not love shopping, I love my wife.

I was speaking with a couple the other day and the wife mentioned how much her husband liked to shop with her. The husband then gave us the thought for the day, "I do not love shopping, I love my wife."   He then went on to talk about how much he loved and appreciated the woman who is both his wife and the mother of his children. 

All couples have interests they share, it is what brings us together in the first place.  It is also true that our spouses have interests we do not share.  The question is:  do we support, respect and encourage these healthy interests of our sweetheart?  Or do we make our spouse choice between spending time with us or doing the things they love?

My friend went beyond just tolerating his wife's interest and instead choose to make time spent shopping as time they could both enjoy.  Move beyond the bored waiting around to an active participation.  Another example is a husband who loves sports.  A wife could see that as time wasted or as time to grow closer by taking the time to learn the sport and spending the time growing closer as a couple. 

Turns out my friend is a genius and has discovered a secret of the universe.


What are some examples of how people can encourage each other in their hobbies, passions and interests?

Similar topics:

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Flritinator is up and running

In conjunction with the blog and the book , is now the Flirtinator! An easy to use tool that generates ideas for flirting with your spouse.