To Appreciate, To Communicate and To Contemplate

Part of a text of a talk I heard on marriage. I'll post a link to the entire thing, once it is available.

"Marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other human relationship. Yet, some married couples fall short of their full potential. They let their romance become rusty, take each other for granted, allow other interests or clouds of neglect to obscure their vision of what their marriage really could be. Marriages would be happier if nurtured more carefully.
"Marriage is the foundry for social order, the fountain of virtue and the foundation for eternal exaltation." True marriage is a partnership with God.
Three action verbs — to appreciate, to communicate and to contemplate — are helpful in strengthening marriages.
"Begin with sincere desire. Identify those actions needed to bless your spiritual unity and purpose. Above all, do not be selfish. Generate a spirit of selflessness and generosity. Celebrate and commemorate each day together as a treasured gift from heaven."
Russell M. Nelson

Comments

Anonymous said…
I just found your site after searching for some encouragement. I have been married for 9 1/2 years and have 3 kids. My husband is working a lot with no real schedule. Our kids are at the age where they are involved in soccer, baseball, children's choir, and numerous other activities. I feel like all I do is run them from place to place. My husband and I have not been out together since New Years Eve. Every time I think we might be able to spend some time together away from the kids, something always comes up. My biggest complaint is that I'm the only one concerned that we never spend time together. My husband could care less. He never seems to realize when things aren't going well. I feel like he lives in his world and I live mine. We are both Christians and attend church regularly. I truly believe that God ordained marriage and that it's the most important relationship that 2 people can have. Right now I feel so disconnected with him. There is no passion, affection, compliments, respect, or any other qualities that a good marriage should have. I ask about his day, compliment him, tell him I love him, but usually get nothing in return. He says he loves me but I can't feel it. To me, they are just words. I guess what I'm getting at is, how do you bring these things into the marriage without begging for them? I feel like it would be fake if I had to ask for these things.
8:08 PM
Matthew O. Smith said…
Anonymous -

Welcome and thanks for the comment. The whole point of the blog is to encourage people in their marriages and remind them why they got married in the first place. Browse through the archives and see what you come across.

You asked some rather important questions, and I am sure you aren't the only one who feels like you do. I think it is rather common for people to feel distanced from their sweetie with work, kids and everything else. There are so many things that get in the way or "just come up" to interfere with the communication that needs to happen in a marriage.

Rather than answer all your questions here, the next several posts to this blog will be directly addressing the issues you raised. So check back over the next week or two for some ideas for you to try.

Good luck.
10:55 AM
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