A SOFT answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
What happens when someone raises their voice? Naturally you yell back at them. It is human nature to match the tone of the answer to the tone of the question. Often this leads to an argument where one is neither needed nor intended. If you yell at me, I'll yell at you is the same mentality as "an eye for an eye", which leaves the whole world blind.
Instead, answer in a softer voice. A softer voice does not sound angry. You must listen harder to hear a soft voice. Remember that our home should be a safe harbor in the storm.
Our home should ideally be a refuge where each member feels safe, secure, loved, and insulated from harsh criticism and contention that we so often encounter in the world.Wayne S. Peterson