Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The Greatest Joy

I saw this quote the other day:

Our greatest joy and satisfaction comes from the act of giving.

 ----  Leo Buscaglia

If you would be happy in your relationship with your sweetie, practice the act of giving.  The more selfless you are, the more you will get out of the marriage.  The more selfish you are, the less the meaningful the relationship will be.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Communication and Marriage

James E Faust stated:

"Marriage relationships can be enriched by better communication. One
important way is to pray together. This will resolve many of the
differences, if there are any, between the couple before sleep comes. I do
not mean to overemphasize differences, but they are real, and make things
interesting. Our differences are the little pinches of salt which can make
the marriage seem sweeter. We communicate in a thousand ways, such as a
smile, a brush of the hair, a gentle touch, and remembering each day to say
'I love you' and the husband to say 'You're beautiful.'
Some other important words to say, when appropriate, are 'I'm
sorry.' Listening is excellent communication."

So many great ideas in a single paragraph. 


Praying with each other and for each other is a powerful influence for good in a marriage and in a family.  Imagine how your sweetie feels in hearing you thank God daily for your sweetheart and your relationship.  Praying invites peace and harmony into the home.  It is the basis for the inspiration that is needed in raising children and overcoming the difficulties that arise in a relationship.  Pray daily and thank God for your sweetie.

Non-verbal communication

We often think of communication as verbal: speaking and listening.  Yet a lot of communication happens through the other senses.  We see a smile and feel a gentle touch, a soft stroke or a pat on the back.   While  verbal communication is  important,  non-verbal communication is  also  important  and  can  be much more effective.  Saying "I love you" is important, but smiling and holding hands while saying it makes it that much more meaningful.  Remember the importance of non-verbal communication and go give your sweetheart a big bear hug.


For some reason, people tend to focus on the negative and ignore the positive.  Be sure to focus on the positive with your sweetie.  Compliment them on their looks, on a job well done and on being such a wonderful spouse and parent.  To make the compliment more meaningful, write it down.  Spoken words are ethereal.  Once spoken they are gone, never to be retrieved again.  The written word as permanence and reality.  Writing things makes it more real because it can be seen, touched and read over and over again.  Write your sweetie a compliment today.


Make time for talking and listening.   Listening is more than hearing.  Its really paying attention.  Its turning off the TV and removing other distractions.  Its stopping what you are doing so you can dedicate your whole attention to your sweetie.  It shows your love by deomstrating how important your sweethearts ideas and concerns are to you.  Make time to talk and and take time to listen.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Holding the Door Open

I must admit it. The truth is I rarely hold the car door open for my sweetie anymore. When we were dating and first married, she would even wait for me to come around and open it for her. It was all so very romantic. Then kids came. With car seats, diaper bags and everything else, running around and opening the door when she would just have to get out and wrangle a kid or two seemed a bit pointless.

The final end came with our latest vehicle. The lock on the passenger side door doesn't work from the outside. I have to open the driver side door and unlock the other doors. By the time I get back around, she's already inside, belt buckled and wondering what the hold up is.

Only for special date nights do we allow the extra time for me to open the door for her. How much time is it? Oh, about 5 seconds. Yet we are always in a hurry to get somewhere and those few moments seem like an eternity.

More's the pity because my children have not seen me make the effort to show my sweetheart that extra little bit of courtesy. Its very important for them to see a good example of love, respect and courtesy from their parents so they know how to treat their future sweethearts, and how they should expect to be treated.

Guys: Make the effort to do the traditional courtesies like holding doors, carrying things and so forth.

Gals: Give your sweetie the opportunity to show a good example to your kids. Graciously accept the courtesies with a sincere thanks you.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


In Matt 6:21 we read:
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
My sweetie is one of my greatest treasures because that is where my heart is.