Monday, April 11, 2005

Does this make me look fat?

Guys, Has this ever happened to you? You are getting ready to go to a social engagement. You're all ready, the wife is looking good and putting the finishing touches on. Then, out of the blue, it happens:
Does this make me look fat?
The novice husband will answer either yes or no. Sounds like a "yes or no" type question, so it makes sense to answer with one of those. The novice husband then gains experience, but is left wondering why she is upset.

The more experienced husband realizes that neither yes nor no is the correct answer, but wonders what it might be. A primordial grunt usually suffices to keep one out of hot water. In a later posting, we'll revisit this subject on why yes and no are both wrong.

Ok, what is the answer to the question? The answer is to not answer the question. Let me explain. When your sweetie asks "Does this make me look fat?" or some other such loaded question, use a bit of redirection.

Stop, look her up and down. Tell her to turn around slowly one direction, then the other. Have her walk a few paces away and turn again. Undo one of her buttons and do it back up. Then have her turn around again. Have her lift her skit up and check out her slip. Make some adjustments to her hair. Have her move under the light so you can get a closer look. Keep this up for a couple of minutes, really making a show of inspecting how show looks.

Finally, walk up to her, look her in eye and say "YOU'RE GORGEOUS!!".
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