Monday, January 31, 2005

Family Night

Each week have a Family Night.

What is Family Night?
Family Night is a special time set aside each week that brings family members together and strengthens their love for each other, helps them draw closer to Heavenly Father, and encourages them to live righteously.

How is Family Night romantic?
Romance is all about communication. Family Night is a chance for the couple to discuss things that might never get discussed. As you each prepare and teach a lesson, you share a part of yourself that often remains hidden. Its great!

What about the kids?
Family Night is all about the whole family. It will help every member of the family feel more a part of the family and more confident in other aspects of life.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Note on the Windshield

Leave a note on your sweetie's windshield. If possible, do it away from home so that it is even less expected. Try leaving the note on the car at your sweetheart's work or while they are at the store or running some other errand.

Reverse Golden Rule

We have all heard the "golden rule". Its found in Matthew 7:12:
12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
We have think about it as treating people the way we want to be treated.

There is also an implied corollary to the golden rule. It is that people reflect back the treatment they receive. A couple of examples to illustrate the point.

1 - Smile. When you smile at someone they will smile back. Try it. It works on perfect strangers walking down the street.

2 - Expectations. If you expect someone to fail they often will. If you expect someone to succeed, they often will. Why? Think about it. How do you treat someone whom you expect to fail? How do you treat someone whom you expect to succeed?

Changing your sweetie

People often complain about their sweetie. They say "he is not romantic enough" or "she just takes me for granted". That is usually followed by "if he would only ..." or "if she would just change ...". There is so much wrong with that attitude you could write a whole book on it and I'm sure at least 1 someone has.

The best way to change someone is to change how you act to adjust their reaction. As marriage goes on we fall into patterns and roles. We often act a certain way not because we think its the best way to act, but because it is part of the role we are playing. Maybe an example will illustrate the point.

In the evening when the hubby comes home from work the home may be a bit chaotic. The kids are going every which way with school, homework, sports, etc. The wife is a bit frazzled with all the demands of kids and housewifery. Hubby of course is stressed due to work and frustrated due to traffic. What happens when hubby walks in the door?

Hubby might like to have his wife greet him with a smile, pamper him and help him relax. Maybe should could be dressed up waiting for him. The kids are all polished and quietly doing kid things.

The wife might like some time to talk and have adult communication. She would like some help with the chores and have someone help the kids so she is only doing 10 things at once.

Obviously both those things can't happen, so often nothing happens that either spouse really wants. The husband comes home and is unable to unwind. The wife doesn't get the help she needs. So they both collide and spend the evening grumpy with each other. How can it be changed? Try changing yourself.

When the hubby comes home, leave the stress of work and driving in the car. He could take a few moments to relax and be cheerful as he enters the house. Ask his wife how her day was and really LISTEN. Share a funny anticdote about the day with her so you can connect. Above all, let the first thing she sees is a smile.

When the wife knows her hubby is about to come home, take a few minutes to destress. Try and find a way to welcome him home and help him destress. Just as with the hubby, be sure to have a smile waiting for him.

There is something about a warm and friendly smile that can change everything almost instantly. It seems to say "I am on your side". If your sweetie suddenly felt you were on their side, wouldn't they reciprocate? Try it and see.

By breaking out of the mold and doing something for your spouse, you will enable them to break out of their mold and do something for you. Then you will feel like returning the deed, and so on. This can create an upward spiral of goodwill and gratitude to replace the downward spiral of resentment.

Remember: It is by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. Don't try and do some huge change, just a small change applied consistently

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Valentines Scavenger Hunt

This little kit and 13 little valentines you can also buy and a mail box to keep them in. For valentines you wrap and give your sweetie the mailbox. Inside the mailbox place a note that the rest of the mail was lost and scattered around the house. Write something romantic on the others and hide them around the house. The kids will have a good time helping you hide them.

Scriptures on Marriage: Ephesians 5

In Ephesians 5:21-33 we read:
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

There is a lot to think and talk about in these few verses. One thought goes right to the heart of romance in marriage. The thought is that we should think more of our sweetie then ourselves. Husbands are encouraged to treat their wives as Christ treated the church. He sacrificed everything for it. It was the most important thing. So are our wives. Wives likewise are encourged to submit to and reverence their husbands. Can you think of a more romantic relationship than one where both the husband and wife love each other, respect each other, sacrifice for each other, submit to each other and are truly grateful for each other?

Monday, January 24, 2005

Gift Idea: Valentines Flowers

VDay Order Early (125x125)You say there is nothing all that unique about flowers on valentines? If all you give is a dozen red roses, you are right. But check out these guys for some unique ways to send flowers and some interesting ideas of other things to include with the flowers. I like the "bucket of love".

Date Idea: Date Night at Home

Do you have a lock on your bedroom door? Of course you have a lock on the bedroom door. For a date one night put a sign on the bedroom door that reads "Mom and Dad are on a date tonight and will be home around 9:00 p.m.. Pretend they are not home". Then go in the bedroom, lock the door and watch a movie together.

Don't have a TV in the room? Even better! Play a game, have a pillow fight, or make big plans for fantasy vacations ( Spa Finder for ideas). Just talk and laugh together.

Kids not old enough to watch themselves? That's ok, just get a babysitter like you would if you were really going out.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Date Idea: High School Play

A lot of schools are doing plays at this time of year. School plays make a great inexpensive date. You are not going to see great Broadway acting and props, but you will see something interesting. Its a great way to support the school and get out at the same time.

We have taken our older kids and made it a fun family outing as well.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Gift of Time

Without any fanfare and without having to be asked, do some chore or task that your sweetie normal does or has been avoiding doing. It need not be something big, just a small thing like doing the dishes, helping with homework, or changing a light bulb. By doing this you will be giving your sweetheart the greatest gift of all: extra time to do other things.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

The magic pill

An aphrodisiac is a mythically magic pill that will put the fire back into a realtionship. Although many things are rumored to have this effect, however the most effective aphrodisiac is to remove all the anti-aphrodisiacs in the relationship. A big anti-aphrodisiac is boredom. As a marriage progresses, it naturally finds a routine. It is then easy to move from the routine to the taking each other for granted. Both those tendencies combine together to create boredom and a feeling that your spouse is not grateful.

To avoid boredom, do something to break the routine and express gratitude at the same time. Surprise your sweetheart and let them know how grateful you are for her. This list has many ideas for getting out of the rut. Try holding hands for a start.

Is a single romantic gesture going to be a magic pill? Probably not. But what comes close to the magic pill is generating a sense of closeness and appreciation with your sweetie by not allowing them to feel that they are being taken for granted.

Gift Idea: Your Story

Although it is marketed as a children's product, the IlluStory Book Kit can make a great romantic gift for your sweetie. The book is short only allows for about 20 words per page. Some of the things you can do are:
  • Make a book about how you met and fell in love.
  • Create a story with your sweetie as the hero. Have your sweetheart do the things they have never been able to do
  • Create a family history album with each page being a different person from your family tree
  • Make each page something you love about your sweetie
  • Make the book together as a short joint auto-biography
  • Use you imagination and create a book unique to you

The kids will love reading this book over and over again. It will be even more fun for them if at least one page includes them. No matter how silly it turns out, this book will become a family favorite.

Loveland Valentine Program

Each year since 1946, the city of Loveland, Colorado sets up a Valentine re-mailer. From their web-site:

To have your valentines re-mailed, enclose your pre-stamped, pre-addressed Valentines with return address in a large 1st class envelope to:

Attn: Valentines
Loveland, CO 80538-9998

What is a re-mailer? A re-mailer for snail-mail is the equivalent of a mail forwarder for e-mail. You get your valentines card, fill it out, put it in an envelope, address and stamp it. Put do not mail it yet. Now get a larger envelope, address it to the address above with your return address. Put a stamp on it and put your valentine in this envelope. Seal it and send it to Loveland, Colorado.

When they get it, they will
lovingly hand-stamp a special cachet with message of love from Loveland on each valentine card received.
They will then send your valentine to your sweetie.

Have each of the kids send a valentine to your sweetie this way or send your kids a valentine. Everyone loves to get valentines in the mail.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Valentine's Bouquet

Ok people listen up. Valentines is less than a month away. So, what's it going to be this year? Are you going to do something memorable or is it going to be the 13th and you are wondering what to do? Decide soon or the decision will be made for you.

Here's an idea for the husbands, make her a dozen origami rose buds, mount them on green pipe cleaner and present them to her on the day. Before you fold each rose bud, write an action on the paper. Make it something like "make me laugh", "tell me a story", "kiss me so I see fireworks", "do the dishes", "cook dinner" or "rub my feet". Then attach a note stating that she should open a bud a day for the next 12 days and you will fulfill what ever the rose says.

Be sure that each action is simple enough that you can do it on any given night. You could also put a number on each rose bud and have her open specific roses on specific days. Then you can have the action planned for each rose. In that way you could include things like "go with me to see [movie title]". You would then get tickets, arrange for the babysitter and everything else so you can both go see the movie.

Note guys, these roses are not simple to fold. You better give yourself some time to practice. Also, spend a little on some nice paper

Of course you can include the kids. They can help with folding the roses, presenting the bouquet and fulfilling the actions.

Monday, January 10, 2005

A Little Shoulder Rub

Next time your sweetie is facing away from you, sneak up and start rubbing sweetie's shoulders. It great for both the mind and the body.