Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Its the thought that counts

In this list and on others you will see many wonderful ideas for
expressing love and gratitude to your sweetie. Among all these ideas
is a common thread: go one step beyond the normal. Instead of saying
the word, "I love you", write it in a note. Instead of just saying
"thank you", send a thank-you singing telegram.

Why bother? A couple of reasons. First, when you do something
outside the ordinary and unexpected, you place yourself at a certain
amount of emotional risk. Your sweetie will sense this. This moves
you both outside of your combined comfort zone and adds excitement to
the relationship. The comfort zone is comfortable but boring. By
moving both of you outside of that boring place, a simple yet
extra-ordinary act is a simple way of adding excitement to the
relationship.

Second, as the saying goes, "it is the thought that counts". The more
thought and preparation you put into sending your message of love and
gratitude, the more it will count. As another saying states, "talk is
cheap". You can say "I love you" over and over again. Yet its impact
is not very great. Speaking the words requires no effort and no
thought. Sending a small card with a short hand-written note shows
both thought and preparation. It is a small amount of effort, but it
shows you are thinking of your sweetie, even when you are not
together.

Third, do not spend a lot of money. There is a paradox of affluence.
We are told that buying luxurious gifts will make our sweetie happy.
However, you can't buy the affection of your sweetheart. Instead,
save your money and give a bit of your time and talents instead.
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