Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Hobbies

Most people have hobbies. These of course include stamp collecting,
bird watching, photography, fishing and so on. It might even be
writing or following a particular football team. Whatever it is, your
sweetie probably has one and you probably know what it is. If you
don't know what your sweetie's hobby is, find out.

Just as likely, your sweetie does not have time to pursue that hobby.
With the demands of marriage, kids, career and everything else which
fills our lives, most of us have precious little time to pursue our
own interests. Often, we feel guilty about spending time on doing "my
thing". The result being we put those things aside for a long time.

Another common thing is that we don't have same hobby as our spouse.
He's into football and she likes gardening or something like that.
This is another reason people put hobbies aside. What little free
time people have, most would rather spend it with their sweetie. It
often ends up a decision of whether to spend time on the hobby or the
spouse. Most people choose spouse.

As a special treat for your sweetie, you should enable them to enjoy
both their hobby and your company. Lets take the case where your
sweetie likes to watch the Rams play football but never seems to have
time to sit and watch a game. Find out when the Rams are playing and
arrange a "football date" at home. Make nachos or popcorn or whatever
the favorite football treat is. Invite a couple of friends over to
watch the game game on TV with you. The idea is to allow some guilt
free time to enjoy both the game and your companionship.

This is just one example, but the same principle can work with any
hobby. The idea is three-fold: first, remove the guilt associated
with spending time on a hobby instead of something else; second,
participate to some extent in the hobby so it can end up being "us
time" as well as "my thing"; and third, do something to encourage the
hobby. This can be making necessary arrangements or by buying
something useful to the hobby.
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